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CHAPTER 18: Saying Goodbye

Two weeks had pass since Brenda’s ordeal. The whole situation wore her out. She was no longer eager to party, didn’t want to go out in public. She spent most her days in John’s bed room or at Steve’s house. Every sound made her jump. A single touch took her back to that dreadful night.
John was never able to find her attacker. He, Steve and Kevin searched for days, no one had ever heard of Dustin, almost like he didn’t exists.

It was a rainy day, and John invited Steve to his house while his parents were away. The three of them sat in the bedroom making light conversation. Brenda wasn’t very interested; she kept her attention focused on the music playing on John stereo.

“John. I’m going home.” Brenda said suddenly.

“When?” John asked. He’d seen it coming for some tine.

“Two day’s. I talked to my mom last night. Told her what happen.”

“So you want to go home.”

“Yeah. It will be good for me. I want to spend the rest of the summer with my parents.”

“Are you coming back to Oxford?” John asked.

“I don’t know. John I’m just so mad. I’m too strong to feel like this. I hate what he did to me and I need to get over this. This feeling, lost and alone. I can’t hang with this.” She slammed her fist into the soft bed.

“Brenda, I’m here for you. If you ever need anything.” John said. He put his arms around her shoulders.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Both of you.”

“What?”

“Steve, that day you came by the house. I followed you.”

“Huh?” Steve let out.

“I took a run by your house, waited for you to leave and followed you. I wanted to make sure we
bumped into each other. “

“Why?” Confusion spread a crossed his face.

“I wanted to make sure you and John never got back together. I had a plan. Gain your trust, and then make sure you never talked to John again. I was, still am very much in love with John. I knew if he never got you back into his life he would settle for me. But I started to like you and plans changed.”

“Brenda, why would you do that?” John asked.

“I’m sorry John, I never meant to hurt you. I believed for the longest time that I could make you happy. Steve, I really do care about you. You became one of my closet friends. The way you had my back when things got raft, proved that you not only cared me, but you love John. Thank you for everything.” She hugged Steve, then kissed him on the lips. “I love you, very much.”
“Brenda. I must admit. At first I was just using you to get back into John’s life. But I began to like you. I’m sorry and I forgive you if you can forgive me.” Steve said.

_____________________
“Brenda are you sure you have to leave. We can work this out together.” John said as they waited for her plane to arrive.

“Yeah, this is for the best. I hope I’m better, by the time school starts. I want to go back ”

“You’ll get thru this. You stronger than you know.”

“Thanks John.”

“ B. There’s something I needed to ask you.”

“What’s up hon?”

“You said I would settle for you. Did I hurt you that bad?” He asked the question, but already
knew the answer.

“Yes you did. But I was to blame to. I knew that you were using me and I let it happen. I wanted
you so bad, I would have taken anything you gave me.”

“Brenda, I never meant to betray you. I really do love you and in another life time we would have
been together.”

“John, don’t get soft on me.” She laughed. “You’re in love with Steve and after spending time
with him I can see why. He loves you, more then I ever could.”

“Flight 4-3-2, London to New York, USA. Now boarding passengers.”

“That’s me.” Brenda said picking up her carry on bag. “I’m going to miss you Dixon.”

“I’m going to miss you more.” He hugged her. He had a hard time letting her go. “If you need anything, you better call me first.” He said.

“There is one thing.” She said.

“Anything name it.”

“Be true to you. Follow this.” She said pointing to his chest where his heart beats. “Go home, and be honest with you parents. Steve loves you, but he won’t let himself get hurt again.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” John said. “ I’m not that strong.”

“You heart is.” Those were her last words to him.
John watched as the plane took off into the sky. Leaving him with and empty space in his heart.