It's Easier For Some
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CHAPTER 2:
The bell rang.
“Oh God, who’s this going to be?” cried Steven’s father, who was not in the mood for visitors.
“It’s OK, I’ll get it.” Sarah made her way to the front door, and was a little surprised by what she saw when she opened it.
“Oh, John.”
“Is, er, Steve in?” He had obviously been crying, and couldn’t look Sarah in the eyes.
“No, he’s…still out. With Linda.”
“Oh.”
“Do you want me to tell him you called round?”
“Erm, yeah. No. Whatever.”
John Dixon turned around, and started to walk away. Sarah watched with concern – this was a young man in deep despair, and she had a fair idea why. She closed the door and went back to her book, though she knew she was unlikely to properly read any of it.
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“What on earth…” Graham said as he looked out the front window.
“What is it?”
“That Dixon boy. He’s sitting on our front lawn. Who does he think he is? I’ll just…”
“Leave it Graham. Just leave him out there.”
“But…”
“Look, I may be able to explain later, but for now, just leave him. Please.”
John could think of nowhere else to go. The idea of seeing Kevin and Dave did not appeal, and the last place he wanted to be was in the same room as his parents. Anyway, he had to speak to Steven.
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It was dark when Steven and Linda finally got back, but they immediately recognised the figure outside the Carter house.
“Do you want me to go and give him a good kicking?” Linda asked.
“Er, no. I, um, no.”
“Are you alright sweetheart?”
“No. Look, I’m gonna go and speak to him. Please don’t disapprove.”
“It’s your life. Fuck it up all you want.”
Steven got out of the car, and walked over to John. The guy was shivering, and Steve could see from the street lamp reflection that his face was wet.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Look, do you want to go inside.”
“I don’t know. Yeah, I guess.”
They went in, and Steve left John in the hallway while he went to speak to his parents.
“Steve love. Where have you been?” His mum hugged him several times. “Look, John Dixon was…”
“Yeah, I know. I need to go and talk to him.”
“OK love.”
“Dad?” His father remained silent, but slowly looked up at his son, and offered a slight smile. “Thanks. Look, I’ll come and talk to you later.”
Steve and John headed up to the bedroom, closing the door behind them.
“Well?”
“I…I had to see you.”
“And?”
“Look, Steve. I’ve spent the whole afternoon thinking. I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you.”
“Maybe you already have.”
“Please. I’m desperate!” John’s voice lowered. “I’m a coward. I can’t do this by myself.”
“Do what?”
“Tell…be honest.”
“What, so you’re gonna let the world know?”
“I have to.”
“Why? You’re John Dixon. You can do anything you want.” Steven’s voice was cold.
“I’m sorry.” John looked deflated and tired. Then he perked up a bit. “Look, I said I would prove that I love you, and I still can. Please.”
“And I’m just supposed to accept that, and forgive you. You’ve lied to me, you’ve beaten me up, you’ve…”
“I was scared! I was so scared.” John was shouting and almost crying. “I would give anything to go back, do it all differently. But I can’t. I hurt you, and even if you do, I will never forgive myself. I just want the chance to make it right. Make you love me again.”
“I do love you Johnny. I do. I just don’t know if I can go through it all again.”
“You won’t have to. I’ll tell everyone I’m dodgy, and then we can be together.”
“Just like that?”
“Please Stevie.”
“What about Kevin and Dave? What are you gonna say to them?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t care. They don’t matter, as long as I have you. I mean, I’m going off to Oxford – I won’t need them anymore.”
“Oh, so you’re just gonna dump everyone from Basingstoke and go?”
“Not everyone. Not you.”
“Thanks a lot. How am I supposed to know that? You dumped Christina, you’re gonna dump your mates. That doesn’t make me feel…”
“Steve! I’m tired. I’m scared. I’m ashamed. I can’t keep this up for much longer. I want you more than anything or anyone, but I can’t keep listening to you being so bitter. It hurts so much, knowing that I made you this way. Please, just one more chance.”
“I don’t know. I need time.”
“Well, then I’ll just go and sit back outside. I’m not going until I know.”
“Oh don’t be so stupid…”
“I’m not leaving.”
Steven Carter was worn out. He had tried resisting, letting go of John Dixon, but he could keep going no longer. He walked over to his lover and embraced him. They kissed for an eternity, but then Steve backed away.
“John, I need to speak to my parents.”
“So do I.”
“Now?”
“I have to, as soon as I can.”
“Don’t you want me to come with you? You said you needed help doing this.”
“It will be enough to know that you’re waiting for me somewhere else.”
“OK. Good luck.”
They kissed one more time, and then John quietly left to make his way home. Steven went back down to the living room to face the onslaught from his father. It never came.
“Dad, I…”
“I know son. So, are you and John, er, you know?”
“Together? Yeah.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes. More than anything.”
“Does he love you?”
“He says he does, and he’s going home to tell his parents that.”
“Steven, I’m not going to dredge up what’s been done, or not done. But please, next time you have a problem, just come to us.”
“I’m sorry Dad. I really am. I was just so scared of what might happen.”
“Look, it’s gonna take me a little time to get used to this. Unlike your mother, I had no idea. Even after the police…”
“I’m so sorry Dad. I was there, in the woods, with John – we had nowhere else to go.”
“Son, I think it would be best if you just let me get used to this. I have more questions, many more. But they can wait. There is just one thing?”
“What?”
“Can you bring me a copy of that other article you wrote. I want to read it.”
“Er, sure.”
Steven stood up to leave, noticing the smile his mother had on her face. He couldn’t believe it had gone so well, and just hoped that things were OK at the Dixon’s.
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