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CHAPTER 1: 14th march

well it's been a week. 7 whole days and still i feel no regret at all.
god how callous do i sound?
i just couldn't be with margot any longer. it was doing my head in.
it was doing neither of us any good anyway, i was just on a constant downward spiral, and she, well she was fully equipped to control the whole world let alone just me. i just didn't love her anymore, and she no longer needed me.
it started last friday. i was at work and had a tough job on my hands trying to finish the accounts for a large company whose funds had been seriously mismanaged with the previous owner, and guess who gets to sort it all out, voila, muggins here, moi.
she'd already tried to get me to cancel visiting my dad for his 50th that wkend, and the phone rang again and i just knew margot wasn't going to let up. i answered reluctantly and listened while she rattled off our social engagements she'd planned & arranged for the whole wkend, starting this evening, & as she told me what to wear for each occasion, and what would be expected of me. i waited for her to finish, and then i really don't know what came over me.
"margot will u please hear me out with what i'm about to say,"
"what is it? u better be quick i have 2 go meet susan for tae bo,"
"margot, i have other plans for this wkend. i'm going out for a drink and a meal with an old school friend tonight, i doubt u'd remember him, he was one of MY friends, craig, ring any bells?"
"no, but u can't.."
"and then 2morrow i'm going 2 my parents house. it's my dad's 50th birthday. my mum's throwing a huge party for him. i'm coming back sunday night."
"gary! how dare u! how dare u go behind my back and organise things without my knowledge? u just have no respect for the trouble i go to do u? to organise u and to keep us in a high social standing the way i do. u don't think about what i want at all do u gary? how can i cancel everything at this late stage? and to think what people will say if we don't make an appearance tonight! especially if they find out we were liasing with one of ur old school friends! no, i'm sorry gary but it just won't do at all, you'll b coming with me as arranged."
"no margot, i'm sorry but no, i'm not coming."
and i hung up.
initially i was almost fearful for my life, but at the same time i felt like i'd achieved something. i got up, went down the pub, and ordered a bacon butty.
this was a defining moment, the first time i'd eaten anything unhealthy 4 what felt like eons. & fuck did it taste good, no, tremendous.
by the time i met up with craig later on, i'd finished the fucked up company's accounts and on top of that they contracted me to be the accountant in charge of all their funds from now on.
so i was feeling quite satisfied with the days result & craig & i had a great night with booze and take aways just like we used to in uni. & it even ended up with me crashing at his place like we used to aswell, after a hurried repossession of some of my stuff from the house i shared with margot, while she was still out of course.
i left a note saying i'd be back 4 the rest of my stuff b4 heading 2 my folks 2morrow, which hopefully would b while she was off somewhere else, the last thing i wanted was any confrontation, that is still, a week later, a scary thought.