A Love Lost Forever.
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CHAPTER 1: Sorrow and regrets.
This is a story for those of you who have seen Get Real. I myself have only seen it recently and it moved me in a way that no other movie has. I have written two different versions of this story, they both start out a bit sad, one has a happy ending and the other has a tragic one. This is the one with the sad ending. The one with the happy ending is called 'Another chance for love'. Please excuse me if I don't get the slang quite right, as I'm an Australian with a very multi-cultural background so my slang tends to get a bit mixed around even here in Oz. Also I don't know how the school year in Britain works, so I have based it on the school year here in Australia, so if I get things a bit confused there, please forgive me.
John sat on the bench, watching Steve walk across the field and get into his friend's Linda's car, all the while with tears streaming down his face and his mind a turmoil of emotions.
"You've done it now, John 'fucking superman' Dixon, you've gone and lost the only person who has ever made you feel truly happy."
"Why did I have to beat him up in the locker room?"
"Why didn't I have the strength to just bloody kiss him when Kevin walked in?"
"Why did I have to shake my head in denial when he looked at me during the speech he gave in the assembly hall?"
"I should have gone and stood up next to him on the stage and not been such a fucking coward."
"I'm John 'fucking superman' Dixon and yet I don't even have the guts and courage of the man, 'yes' man, that matters to me most, Steven Carter."
"Oh Steve, I love you and now I've lost you forever, what am I going to do?"
These are just some of the thoughts going through John's mind as he sits there sobbing into his hands. After a while he stops crying, dries his eyes and heads off home with a determined look on his face. He has just thought of a way to make sure he doesn't hurt or disappoint anyone anymore especially Steve.
"You're better off without that stupid git." yells Linda above the sound of the music playing on the radio.
Steve, reaches over and turns the music down.
"I don't know Linds, I still really love him, but I guess if he can't be honest about himself to others and not just to me, I may be better off without him." He hesitates for a moment and then goes on. "Oh I just don't know, it hurts Linds, it really hurts." Steve says with a sad look on his face.
"Yeah, well he didn't hesitate much in hitting you to protect his 'perfect straight boy image', did he?" Linda says sarcastically.
"Oh Linds, I could forgive him that, only if he could be honest about himself to others, especially his parents. I think, no, I hope they'll still love him if he shows them that he wants to stop living a lie and really be happy with himself." Steve goes on half hoping, half wishing that his love 'John Dixon' will change his mind.
Linda sputters "Not bloody likely, Steven Carter, and you know it."
"You're right Linds, it's not bloody likely. Could you take me home, I need to speak to my parents, I think I have some explaining to do to them."
Steve, then reaches across and turns up the music, before slumping back into his seat.
After about 20 minutes, Linda pulls into her driveway and they both get out of the car. Linda comes around to Steve and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
"Well, tart, tomorrow I'm taking you out to lunch to celebrate me getting my license and you telling the whole world that you're gay."
"Yeah, Linds, whatever." Steve replies absently, with a look of half dread, half hope on his face.
"I better get on in, I need to have a talk with mum and dad, see you tomorrow."
Steve then gives her a small smile, the sort that melts Linda's heart and makes her once again wish that her best friend was straight and her boyfriend, before he heads off to his front door.
"Mum, dad, I'm back." Steve calls out as he walks in the front door of his home.
"Steve, we're in the kitchen, could you come here please?" Graham Carter calls out. "We need to talk to you."
Steve goes into the kitchen, where he finds his mother making a cup of tea and his father working on another of his Dr Who models, this one a radio controlled model of K9. He goes up to his mother and gives her his usual kiss on the cheek and sits down opposite his father.
"A cup of tea or coffee, Steve?" his mother asks.
"Uh, tea will be fine mum."
Graham Carter looks up. "Steve, why didn't you tell us before you got up and announced in front of the whole school, that you are gay?"
"Yeah, right. I've heard the way you go on about the 'dirty old queers' in the woods and I was afraid that if I said anything, I'd be gutted or thrown out of home and that you wouldn't love me anymore." Steve's voice cracks toward the last and tears start coursing down his cheeks.
"Oh Steve, my son, we would never, could never do that to you. We love you, you are our son and your own person and we will love you no matter what choices in life you make." Sarah Carter says as she hugs her son.
"Your mother is right Steve, although I wish you had told us earlier. Are you sure its not a phase you are going through?" Graham Carter asks.
"Dad, I've known since I was eleven, that I was gay. I know it's not a phase I'm going through, its who I am."
"Erm, um, yes, well its going to take me a while to get used to you being…. um, em."
"Gay, dad, I'm gay." says Steve, sounding slightly relieved.
"Yes, Steve, gay. Well I am also proud of you, if I were in your shoes I would never have had the courage to do what you did in the school's assembly hall today." Graham Carter says looking Steve in the eyes.
Steve looks back at his father in amazement, his mouth hanging open as his mother puts a cup of tea in front of him and starts getting dinner ready.
Graham Carter resumes working on his model. "Close your mouth Steve, before you start catching flies. So are you 'involved' with anyone at the moment?"
"Um, I was, but I would rather not talk about it at the moment if you don't mind dad." Steve says, looking a bit uncomfortable.
"Ok, son, I won't pry. So what are you going to do with the £500 that you won from the contest."
"Um, I haven't decided yet, dad, I think I'll just put it in my savings account until I think of something." Steve sounds relieved that his father hasn't decided to pry into his love life any further.
"That's good, Steve." Sarah Carter chimes in. "Are you going out with your friends to celebrate your win tonight?"
"I don't think I will mum, its been a very draining day. I think I'll just have an early night. Linda is taking me out to lunch tomorrow to celebrate her getting her license."
"Well, I guess I'll have to really watch where I'm driving from now on, now that Basingstoke, has a new terror on the road." jokes Graham Carter.
"Dad." Steve rolls his eyes at such a terrible pun. "I guess I better go and get changed."
"Tea will be ready in about an hour." Says Sarah Carter.
"Ok mum." Steve says as he heads upstairs to get changed, feeling very relieved that things went better with his parents than he had dared hoped.
The rest of the school magazine staff, Wendy, Mark, Jessica and Mr Shore, are sitting around a table in the school canteen talking.
"That was quite a speech Steve gave at the awards ceremony, wasn't it?" Jessica said, with a touch of pride in her voice.
Wendy turns to Mark and says "Mark did you have any idea that Steve was gay?"
"I didn't know at all, he kept it very well hidden." Mark exclaims with a slightly confused look. "I've been friends with him since we were 6, you think he could have trusted me enough to tell me, it wouldn't have changed things between us."
"Well its something that's not easy to tell anyone, even themselves that they are gay." adds Mr Shore. "It takes a lot of courage to admit that sort of thing to anyone."
"I knew, Steve told me a couple of weeks ago, after that 'Get Real' article appeared in the draft of the school magazine." Jessica says as the others turn to look to at her in amazement. "He wanted to tell me earlier, especially after I developed that 'crush' on him, but he didn't as he was protecting someone else."
"Blimey, do you know who it was Jess?" asks Mark.
"Yes, Jess, do you know who? Tell us, we won't tell anyone else." adds Wendy.
"I know who, but I've promised Steve that I wouldn't tell, its up to him to say who it is if he wants." Jessica says, silently pleading with her friends not to press the point any further.
"And that's the way it should be." Mr Shore adds. "If Steve wants to tell you, he will in his own way and time, we should respect his wishes."
"Yes Sir." both Mark and Wendy say.
"Ok then, well I have to get going. I have next weeks lessons to plan." Mr Shore says to the groans of the other three. "Give Steve my congratulations if you see him before Monday."
"Have a good weekend sir." the other 3 say as Mr Shore walks off.
After Mr Shore has gone, Jessica turns to Mark and Wendy. "I think we should go and see Steve tonight and see if he's ok."
"I'm in." says Mark. "You going to come along too Wendy?"
"You couldn't keep me away." Wendy replies with a mischievous look in her eyes. "I've got to make sure the best guy I've gone out with doesn't get stolen away from me by a cute brunette with flashing blue eyes."
"Wendy, he wouldn't, he couldn't." Mark stammers.
"I know he couldn't, Mark, you've proved that to me quite well." Wendy replies with a knowing look on her face as Mark turns a deep shade of crimson.
Jessica and Wendy burst out laughing and Mark soon joins in as he realises he is being teased.
"Well, I've got to get home, meet you at Steve's at 7?" Jessica asks.
"Sure, Jess, see you then. Walk me home, Mark?" Wendy replies.
The three gather their bags and coats and head off out of the school.
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