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CHAPTER 1: Another Prize Day

Steven sat with Jessica, Mark and Wendy. The auditorium was packed as it was the year before. None of them were receiving awards this year. There would be no drama as there was last year. The Head had kept careful watch over the school magazine this year. They were there out of courtesy as they were finishing their last year and had mates they wanted to applaud. Of course Vince was also sitting with them. Vince was Jessica's boy friend, and he was being awarded the Prize in Latin.

The last year had proved to be a bit frustrating for Steven. While his father did come around and was now fiercely defensive, Steven had grown more inward, less outgoing. There were those who called names out, but for the most part they were few. He was actually surprised by how much his 'little affair with Dixon', as he now called it had really affected him. He was wary about opening himself up to others. He now most often met others via the internet. While it is virtually impossible to entirely kill off the sex drive of a seventeen year old male, his notoriety could be both a help and a hindrance.

One quiet day last summer, Richard had come up to him by the canal in the park to talk, and while it didn't last long, there were a few clandestine assignations that required no personal commitment. Then they too drifted apart. Occasionally, he'd recognize in the glance of another desire but the eyes would quickly look away, sometimes looking back for a second time. Steven understood. He named it the John Syndrome. No one at school had followed his lead, and then again he really didn't expect anyone to join him in the light. There were times when he had found notes in his locker expressing envy for his courage, but they invariably were not signed.

But he had his friends, although Linda was now working full time and had less time for him. As he sat there and thought back to last year's speech, he was glad he had said things that had to be said. The important people in his life had stood there by him. No one ever knows exactly how things would have been different, so he tried not to second guess himself. He was now planning on college, His academic records, his test scores had brought him offers from some prestigious schools, including Oxford and Cambridge. In fact that night a representative from Oxford was supposed to be arriving to meet with him. But he had his reservations about going to school there, as that was where Johnny went to school.

Steven's reverie was interrupted by an elbow to the ribs from Mark. "Steve ... look at the podium."

The Head was speaking into the microphone, "This year by chance last year's winner of the sportsman award is in town on business and we have prevailed upon him to present the award to this year's winner. I give you John Dixon." There was polite applause while Steve looked on, his mouth had dropped open in amazement. John proceeded directly, "This year's award for best sportsman goes to Gregory Chambers." Then as he stood there waiting for Chambers to walk up, John's eyes searched the audience, pausing briefly on Steven. By that time, Gregory Chambers had worked his way to stage center and John handed him the award and moved to the back of the stage.

Steven had not seen John since last school year. John had left for Oxford the week after school ended. Jessica who sat on his other side whispered, "Steven, did you know?" "I had no idea." he answered honestly. They continued discussing John amongst themselves as they filed out of the auditorium. When they walked out of the building, it was Mark again who said, "Fuck me! There he is and he's walking this way." They all stopped, while John continued walking the short distance between them. His eyes were only for Steven, as if the rest were like shades from some netherworld. "Hello, Steve, I know I'm not supposed to meet with you until tonight, but I thought we might start early."

"They sent you? You're the bloke I'm supposed to meet from Oxford?" Steven asked incredulously.

John said quietly, "They of'times ask recent graduates to go back to their schools. When they asked me, and told me who they wanted me to see, I immediately said yes."

"Bloody 'ell. Why?"

John looked directly into Steve's eyes, "I really want you to come up next year. I want you wearing the Oxford Blue."