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CHAPTER 1: The Park

Based on characters from the screenplay "Get Real" by Patrick Wilde.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's the Saturday afternoon of the week after Prize Day. Steven is leaning on his bike in front of his house, chatting to Linda. Inside the phone has been ringing and has just been answered. Steven's mother opens the door.

"It's for you Steven."

"Be back in a minute," Steven says to Linda as he heads inside.

"Maybe it's a secret admirer," she calls to him.

"I should be so lucky!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?"

"Hi…"

"John?" Steven is stunned. He never expected to hear from John again. "What do you want?"

"Can I see you?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

There is silence on the phone for moment. "I need you."

"You need me! What about when I needed you?" Steven is suddenly quite angry with John.

"Steve..."

"And what about your precious mates? What if they find out?"

"Forget them. Just let me see you."

"Why should I?"

"Please." Steven's burst of anger fades, there are tears in John's voice. They catch at Steven's heart. He can't refuse them.

"When?"

"Can you come now?"

For a moment Steven can't reply. Should he go? Is it worth all the pain? "Maybe. Where?"

"The park."

"Okay." He hangs up.

"Just going out for a bit," he calls to his mother.

"Don't be long." She watches him from the window as he goes out towards Linda. She knows who it was on the phone. No one has ever told her the truth about Steven and John's relationship but she understands full well and she doesn't want to see her beloved son hurt again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where are you off to? Got a date?" Linda asks jokingly as Steven comes out of the house at a run and grabs his bike.

"Not really."

"So where are you going?"

"Nowhere important."

"Why the hurry? Must be an assignation." Linda can see Steven doesn't want to tell her and that makes her all the more curious. "Where's the rendezvous?"

Steven knows she won't give up until she finds out. "Just going to the park."

"God Steven, you're not doing that again! It's so tacky."

"You don't have to worry. I've just got to see someone."

"Who?"

"A friend." Steven's being evasive and won't look Linda in the face.

"Who?" Linda grabs him by the arm. "Come on, who?"

"John." He says quietly, almost apologetically.

"JOHN! After what he did to you? I thought you were be finished with that prat. Why are you going chasing after him..."

Before Linda can really get going Steven interrupts her, "He wants to see me."

"He wants to see you! Just like that! He dumps on you and then expects you to come running."

"Lins, he sounded pretty bad."

"Serve him right."

"He was crying."

"Oh! … What can you do when they cry?" Linda gives him an understanding grin. "Okay let's go."

Steven looks at her in puzzlement.

"Well if I can't stop you I'm going with you." She gets into the car. "Hop in." Steven is reluctant to join her.

"Get in!" Now it's an order. With a sigh Steven drops his bike, gets in the car and they drive off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Linda pulls up at the side of the park. "You've got half an hour. If you're not back by then I'm coming to get you."

"Yes Ma'am!" Steven gives her a salute but his eyes betrays him. He's beginning to feel nervous. No matter what's happened or what he's said to Linda he's not over John yet. Love doesn't die that easily.

He has to search round the park a bit before he finds John slumped on a bench in a quiet corner, staring aimlessly into the distance.

"Hello John."

John raises weary eyes to look at him. He seems so sad and so tired. "Hello."

"What's so urgent?"

"I've missed you."

"Have you?"

"Yes. It's good to see you." Steven sits down on the bench beside John. He hadn't expected to see John like this, full of so much pain.

"Steve, can we get back together?"

"That's a bit difficult."

"Have you found someone else?"

"In Basingstoke? Hardly."

"Yeah. We were lucky to find each other."

"Well we both went to the right place." Steven says looking towards the toilet on the other side of the park. John smiles at the memory. "Johnny you do understand what's happened."

"Yes." John stares at the ground, searching for the courage to speak. "Steve, I can't…" It's hard for him to talk about his feelings but he must. "I can't get you out of my mind. Can't stop thinking about you."

"That must make Christina happy." The words are out before Steven can stop them. He hadn't meant to be cruel.

John turns an anguished face to Steven. "That's finished. Haven't seen her for weeks. Haven't been out much since..." His words trail off.

"Not even running?" Steven asks quietly.

"No. What's the point?"

"But you love it."

"Not now. When I run…" He swallows nervously. "When I run all I can think of is you, your smile, your voice, your laugh, your eyes, your lips…" He looks longingly at Steven. "Everywhere I go, everything I do, you're all I can think of. I've missed you so much."

In the stillness that follows Steven gazes at John's tear-streaked face. He yearns to take him in his arms and comfort him, but he doesn't. He still hurts too deeply and besides, he doesn't know if John would let him.

"And whenever I look in a mirror I see… I see the fuckwit who hurt you so."

"Forget that."

"I can't."

Again John lapses into a miserable silence. The silence grows until Steven feels he must end it or he'll be in tears too.

"Did you sort things out with you parents, 'bout me?"

"Yes. I did what I always do, I lied," John spits out, disgusted with himself.

"Did they ask about us?"

"Yeah."

"What did you say?"

"I said we were mates."

"We were."

John turns to him, "Can we still be?"

"I told you. I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of hiding, sick of being your great secret, sick of pretending I don't care."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Care?"

"Yes!" His emphatic answer surprises even Steven himself. He does care for John, he cares a great deal. "Do you?

"I love you."

"That's not enough."

John looks like he's been punched in the guts. "What can I do?"

"Stop being scared."

"How?" John turns away. Quietly, as if thinking aloud, he tries to explain. "I thought I knew what mattered… I thought everything I had, my friends, my parents, sport…" His tears catch at his throat. "I thought that was all so damn important. I was scared that if anyone knew the truth about me… about us… it would all be over. I was so scared. Now the thing that scares me most is losing you."

"You're not the only one who's been scared."

"But I still am. I want it to stop." He looks at Steven as if he could magically take away his fear. He wipes the tears from his eyes and pauses for a moment. "I couldn't have done it."

"Done what?"

"What you did, what you said."

"I couldn't have done it without you."

"Me?"

"You kicked me into it. If you hadn't then I don't think I could have. It was the pain that did it."

An expression of anguish and regret passes over John's face. "Did I hurt you that bad?"

"Not physically." Steven rubs the fading bruise on his temple.

John looks down at the grass. He's crying. "What can I do?"

"It's up to you. I can't go back. Even if I wanted to it's too late."

John looks dejectedly at the ground. Without stopping to think Steven starts puts his arm round his shoulders. As he does he wonders if he should but John doesn't jump away, he just leans his head against Steven's. The silence no longer seems so oppressive.

The brief moment of peace is broken by a shout. "Christ Carter, can't you leave him alone?" They look up to see Kevin, who's out jogging, come running towards them. They spring apart and John leaps to his feet. Steven half expects him to run away.

"Can't you get it through your head?" Kevin yells at Steven as he reaches them.

"Leave it Kevin!" John orders but Kevin doesn't hear. He grabs Steven by the shirt and starts to shake him. John seizes his wrist and forces him to let go and back off. "I said leave it!" John's voice is icy cold. This is no act, he is really angry.

"Shit John, what are you doing? If anyone sees you they'll think you're queer too." He looks around then turns to Steven. "Piss of Carter! Thought you'd have learned by now, or do you like being kicked about?"

Neither of them reply. It takes a few seconds before Kevin realises that they are just standing there, looking at him. So is Linda. The half-hour has passed and she has come looking for Steven. He is the only one who notices her.

Kevin is getting puzzled. "Hey what's going on here anyway? John?"

"We're talking."

"Talking? Why?"

"Steve's my friend."

"Your friend?"

"My friend."

"Fuck! You're queer too," Kevin shouts.

"I'm not fucking qu…" John starts to yell at Kevin but the words die on his lips. "Fuck me!"

He turns towards Steven and their eyes lock. He sees hope in Steven's eyes, hope and something more, something worth fighting for. He takes a deep breath.

"Yes Kevin. I'm gay." His heart skips a beat but the world doesn't stop turning, the ground doesn't open up beneath his feet.

"Steven can you forgive me for being a fool?"

Steven flashes a brilliant smile. "Of course I can."

Kevin looks back and forth from one to the other, it seems they've forgotten him.

John holds his arms out. "I tried but it didn't work. I can't be happy without you." Steven steps forward into John's arms. He kisses John's tear streaked eyes. The gaze into each other's eyes and then they kiss. It is a long, loving, passionate, kiss.

Kevin stands there dumbfounded. The only sound is Linda clapping and cheering. Steven doesn't need to be rescued after all.